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Sunday Roast

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Yes it's Sunday evening & normally it would be roast chicken, pork, lamb or beef. But not today. Today it's Duck. Juicy, tasty, succulent roast duck. So this post is going to be short because I can't wait. So short in fact that's it, bye.





Tweetdeck rules

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A few of days ago I signed up with twitter to follow the celeb team climbing Kilimanjaro for comic relief. I explained the object of the site ("what are you doing")  to my wife who thought it was good for friends & family, until she signed herself up & found a number of celebs like Phillip Schofield who she likes also twitters frequently. We are both now completely hooked. So much so that we have downloaded the best software ever invented, "tweetdeck". You will be amazed at what celebs are up to. We are. I have even put my "twitter updates" at the bottom of this blog page. Give it a try, you'll be hooked.





Website & the Dentist from hell

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I have just finished (well almost) the new website for our gite.

It still needs a few tweaks here & there, but all in all I'm quite happy with it.
Give it a try & let me know. Just click the word gite.

I didn't get to post a blog yesterday as I had been back to the French dentist I have learnt to hate. She gave me the injection after she had prodded about & inflicted as much pain as she thought she could get away with. Three injections later she got her little black & decker drill out & started grinding away through my tooth & it felt out of the bottom of my jaw. When she finally realised I was still in pain, she stopped & asked if it still hadn't gone numb. Had my French been better, I could have told her that my nose & right ear were numb, but the tooth no.
All I could muster was the international sound that everyone knows as "WTF do you think".
Now this I think might have upset her as she then turned the drill back on, set it to hammer action & continued attacking the tooth.
When I eventually came around, she said "that the cavity was very deep & had to be filled three times." It was so deep because she had drilled it so deep & wide. I'm sure with the hole being so large I had some subsidence at some point & in consequence my right ear is now lower than it was.
The worst part of all, is that after she had finished the torture, she then stood & asked for her 100€ for the pain she had inflicted, gave me a quote for 400€ to inflict more pain & told me I had two more appointments with her as she had found another cavity (or created one).







Red Nose Climb

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Today talking about what went on, on the QE2 has taken a rear seat (but just for today).

I have just been reading the updates for the Red Nose Climb on Twitter.
I'm sure we have all been through some days when we have thought "wow that was hard".
But I think these guys are going through things that not many people have experienced, & the hardest part is ahead.
If you want to keep up to date with their progress click this link http://www.rednoseday.com/climb . If possible make a donation.

I have just re-read the first line of this post & noticed the on, on bit.
See if you can solve this puzzle. Can you say a (proper) sentence with the word "and" in it 5 times in a row?




QE2 & that sinking feeling

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THE QE2.

Yes a ship held together with bits of rubber sheet & jubilee clips.
When we had a pipe crack or start to leak in the bulkhead, there was no time to drain the system cut out the pipe & replace it. So in consequence you got a 4 inch square piece of sheet rubber from the stores along with 2 jubilee clips (hose clamp in the USA) . Place it over the leak, fix the clips in place & cross your fingers.
Now time for a true story.
A main water pipe on 4 deck burst one day. It was like Niagra Falls. The floor was covered in over an inch of water. When the water reached the staircase gravity took over & I must admit for a split second it looked like a very nice water feature.
The passengers didn't think the same, even for a split second. They were more concerned about their Louis Vuitton luggage.
Just as the torrent reached it's peak, the captain turned up to find out how serious it was.
An elderly lady in a bit of a panic spotted him & grabbed him by the arm & said "CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN THERES WATER FLOWING DOWN THE STAIRS".
The captain in true British fashion took her hand off of his arm, held it in his hands & said "Madam, you only need to worry if the water is flowing up the stairs". 




QE2 wife & kids

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Yesterday I was talking about having kids & the things they say.

Today I thought it might be a good idea to tell you about life pre kids. On the left you can see a picture of the "QE2". Many many years ago I worked on board this ship as a petty officer. It was on board this ship that I met my wife.

She was pure white with a black & red bottom (I'm talking about the ship now) . When I arrived at Southampton docks the first day & saw her for the first time, she took my breath away (I'm talking about my wife now). She was so tall against the cranes (still my wife). The ship was also very high, I had never been this close to a ship so big before & it was a little bit scary. We set sail that day, it was the first Atlantic crossing of the year after the world cruise. 5 days after leaving Southampton I would be in New York. In fact it was more like after 5 days heaving that I reached New York. I always thought it was in films that people went green with sea sickness, but I was wrong. I was so bad that I had to visit the ship doctor, who gave me an injection (that had to be injected into my bum cheek) since then I have never been sea sick again. Although I did get a lot of the crew asking if the doctor "had given me a prick in the bum". The answer to this question changed depending on who had asked it. Anyway back to the topic of this post "meeting my wife" & "the QE2". The story is long, funny & sun drenched. In future posts I will explain all the tales, floods, passengers, rubber & jubilee clips, even the one about how it helped that she had a smooth bottom (the ship by the way).





Snow, Snowing & Snew

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On the right is a photo scan of my new (& first) nephew. It's alot clearer than the scans my wife had when she was pregnant with the twins. It was like an 85 year old on drugs drawing on an etch-a-sketch. But as you can see, you can clearly make out the head, nose, mouth & arm. He also looks like he's scratching his head. (just like my brother). Kids are wonderful at stating the obvious, embarrassing you in front of strangers & family & making you fall over laughing.

Teaching the kids the subtleties of English whilst they are being brought up in France can be funny & frustrating. A few years ago we were trying to teach them that the past tense of throw is threw not throwed, & the same with grow & grew not growed. But then our daughter said "Oh I get it, if today it's snowing & tomorrow it will snow, then yesterday it snew.
NO NO NO NO NO. It's impossible, I thought learning French is hard having masculine & feminine everything. But teaching English grammar rules, & when they are to be broken is not easy.
Because a child when told something like that says the one thing to stop you dead in your tracks "but why?"
Can you answer it? No, it just doesn't sound right to say "it snew yesterday" or why the word "close" can be said two different ways even though they are spelt the same.
My brother is looking forward to the birth of his son, but I haven't got the heart to tell him what he's in for.

PS my spell checker has just had a nervous breakdown




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